As schools across most of the UK are about to start their Autumn terms, spare a brief thought for the teachers. Although a few of them may have been swanning around for the past couple of months doing nothing but gardening, a few have been using the time to recover from the traumas of the previous year, and thinking about next term. Many of them have been feeling slightly ill for at least the past three weeks at the prospect of returning to work. And it would appear that for an increasing number of them, ‘difficult’ students or colleagues are the least of their problems.
When I was a departmental head in a comprehensive school and then ran a sixth form centre, I was used to dealing with ‘challenging’ parents. For most of the time I understood that they wanted the best for their son or daughter and were objecting to a particular decision because of that. I was aware that it was my job to manage the overall picture and it was the parents’ job to fight, as hard as they could, for the student concerned. However, in many cases it was impossible to make everyone happy because of immovable factors.
- “Yes Mrs Smith, I understand that you want Kylie to go into the top set next year, but after looking at her performance over the last two years, and after discussing the situation with both her teachers, I don’t think it would really be in her best interests. And as we only have 30 places, I am not prepared to remove someone who clearly deserves to be there in order to make a place for Kylie.”
- “Yes Mr Jones, I know that Dwayne is heartbroken that he cannot study German at A Level, but when we looked at the numbers, as only 2 students had opted to do that subject, we could not justify employing a tutor. Our budget is limited and we are (unfortunately) not a charity. Everybody wants to study Psychology this year, and that is where I will have to spend the budget for extra part-time staff.”
- “Yes Mr & Mrs Watson I understand that you want Ruth to be allowed to start on the A Level course, but after years of experience, we know that students with the grades she has either drop out of the course or fail. Although she doesn’t want to, we really do believe it is in her best interests to re-sit her GCSE’s. And of course, if we let her onto the course and she does fail or drop out, those figures will be counted against us in the league tables.”
- “Yes Mrs Able, please rest assured that we will investigate your complaint about the way you claim your son’s work has been marked (or not marked). If there is a problem, we are as keen to get to the bottom of it as you are, and appropriate action will be taken. If there has been a misunderstanding, we will arrange a meeting with you and the teacher concerned to discuss the matter.”
- “Yes Mr Judge, we understand that you are angry that the teacher failed to turn up to your daughter’s class today so close to the examination. Unfortunately the teacher experienced a close family bereavement (her own daughter was killed in a road accident) and I was unable to find a replacement law teacher at short notice. We did provide cover work, and I am in the process of trying to find replacement staff, but given the specialism of the subject, it is proving to be extremely difficult. Please bear with us. The number of people qualified to teach A Level Law are few and far between, and given that most of them could earn at least ten times as much working as a solicitor, it is proving difficult finding a replacement.”
- “Yes Mrs Pinchbeck, I know that you are angry with us. However, as you daughter is over 18 and has expressly forbidden us to disclose anything to you, I would not be able to tell you what her new address is, and whether or not she has been to the doctors, or whether or not she has contacted her father, even if I knew that information.”
On very rare occasions, things could get very nasty. Most managers in education have been verbally abused and physically threatened by parents and are familiar with the prospect of turning up to meet Wayne’s dad, only to find that Wayne’s two uncles and his big cousin have decided to attend the meeting as well. On one occasion we had to hide a teacher and call an armed police unit to deal with a student who had come on the premises with a rifle the day after being removed from a course (and this in rural Norfolk, not London).
As ‘challenging’ and as ‘difficult’ things could be, those occasions were rare, and only very rarely dangerous. However, if Charlotte Phillips is to be believed things are getting worse, especially in Public Schools where some parents believe that money can buy them anything.
Wealthy parents may not threaten physical violence, but they can still be unnerving - and their weapons of intimidation far more sophisticated. Threatening legal action is a common tactic. One London school, for example, recently received a three-page fax from a top solicitor after parents objected to their child receiving a detention.
Two factors seem to be partially behind the increase in teacher intimidation. First, as the rich get richer, there is a tendency for some parents to view teachers as just another servant to be ordered around rather than a professional to be respected. “If I can hire people to do what I want, why are the teachers being so awkward, after all, I’m paying enough in fees, aren’t I? I’ll just have to go on threatening and being truculent. It usually works in other areas.” A second possible factor behind the increased intimidation is the growth in the acceptance of the consumer mentality. People have the best TVs and expect to buy the best education. As the cost has gone up, expectations of what they’re going to get have increased. And many believe that money has given them the right to demand exactly what they want. The worrying thing is that such intimidating parents are teaching their children unacceptable behaviour.
In the coming months there will be hundreds of human beings anxiously crying in the mornings saying that they don’t want to go to school because of the bullying - and it won’t just be pupils.
Yeah, I think being a teacher is a treacherous job.
As if dealing with the kids wasn’t bad enough, teachers have to deal with the unrealistic expectations and poor manners of their parents.
You explain the teacher’s predicament really well in your article.
As I have already mentioned, I could write at length on how I feel about school life. There are many topics which could be raised here.
Simply, my believe is this. Whether you are in a independent fee paying school or state funded, both teachers and pupils should expect one human fundemental right.
That all school environements shoulld be free from fear from bullying, from victimisation and from isolation. This applies equally to both teachers and pupils.
Very well written argument concerning the plight of teachers.
Who would want the job. Certainly my husband walked away as you did eventually. Wild horses would not drive him back there.
There is much wrong with the educational system. An even greater wrong with society in general where respect and good maners seem to be out of the window.
Excellent post. I’m sure dealing with difficult parents is challenging. My experience has been in dealing with college students who are legally adults, yet psychological and emotional adolescents. The attitude that they’ve paid their tuition and, consequently, deserve good grades is frustrating.
Yes, I must say that I find that this is definitely stretching over into the University sector these days. On many occasions I have had parents on the phone or at my office door, demanding to know why their little darling has not got a higher grade or claiming some victimisation of the little love has taken place. And this is not just undergrads I’m talking about, most of my students were postgraduates in their mid-20s. Crazy. And some of them are very scary and I have even been offered a bribe by a parent whose son failed each module of his masters.
And yes, parents of school-age children are very quick to be on the phone or in the classroom/headteachers’ office if they feel aggrieved in any way.
I always consider it is best to pick my battles carefully and try to let my sons sort out their problems first if they can.
I think we are best out of teaching these days, which is a terrible pity, because I suspect we are just the sort of people who are needed.