It’s a hard life being the Head Gardener on a country estate these days. At Sandringham, not only do you have to struggle through the day with a meagre team of six remembering what life was like in the good old days when the Estate employed over a hundred to look after the Grounds, but you also occasionally have to return to work in the evenings to escort parties of garden‑keenies around. And that’s exactly what Martin Woods did recently.
About twenty people turned up at six o’clock for an entertaining two hour stroll into the twilight. Although many of us had brought un-needed umbrellas, not enough had come prepared for the dramatic drop in temperature as the early autumn evening progressed, so we went home dry, frozen to the bone, but happy and thoroughly enlightened by someone who knows every leaf, blade, flower, and twig on the Royal Estate, and who exudes enthusiasm and dry wit.
I’m afraid I haven’t a clue what we saw (it is my wife who is the keen gardener), but I do remember that Martin likes trees, and the Estate has some very old ones as well as a wide range of species. And I remember hearing the word ‘strategy’ once which totally surprised me. Apparently it is to do with letting the grass grow. If you grow long grass it helps keep the marauding public in certain areas and also allows some wildlife to prosper which in turn keeps the owls supplied with food.
I remember the story about the mysterious headstone for Sam aged 35 - not some royal love-child, or a favoured gardener who was given certain privileges (recall Lady Chatterley) - but a faithful horse who was buried near the dogs. And then there was the story about luckless boy who moved the ramp down the steps so that the boss careered off his bicycle while attempting to ride down, and the one about the best door to use if you wanted to startle the royal protection officers who are not expecting people to appear out of nowhere, and the one …
From now on, when people disappear on the Estate without notice, I will have no doubt about what has happened to them. Dear, gentle reader, take my advice. Do not go near the lakes alone! Do not even think about it! If someone suggests a quiet ride out in a boat, politely decline. The carp are monsters! They make Jaws look like a tiddler. If you ever visit Sandringham and do wander in that direction, always carry a bag of fish-food, just in case.
It is not just gardens that used to have a lot of manpower, farmland used to be often worked by approx. 16 men per 300 acres, now it is 3 men for 1500+ acres plus casual help at busy times.
Is that progress?
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Wow! I wish I knew what you are talking about. I guess that’s an inside story.
Lorena
Apologies Lorena. I have obviously failed to communicate to my audience. Sandringham is one of the Royal Estates - the Queen uses it at Christmas and periodically throughout the year. I was recently invited to go on a tour of the Gardens (we live near the Estate). It was a cold, but amusing evening.
There was no need to apologize, but thanks anyway.
I truly believe that most Anglo readers knew exactly what you were talking about. That goes to show us that learning a language isn’t sufficient for us to follow everything that’s said in that language.
After 20 years in Canada, I still hear many things that go over my head. For a long time, I blamed myself and I thought I was stupid for not following certain stories and not knowing all there was to learn.
Nowadays, however, with my slightly enhanced self-esteem, I realize that I am not meant to know everything, and when a story confuses me, I just ask.
Thanks for responding.
What a witty tale. I would have thoroughly enjoyed the walk. Pity it did not inspire you to take up your spade( with your iphone in the other of course).
The tales sound amusing and fun. Pity it had to be twilight and not a warmer afternoon tour.
Next time I’ll go there, haven’t been in the grounds for years) I’ll take some fish food.
Love the picture taken.
Sounds like the kind of place I’d love to visit.