People sometimes ask me how I am coping with life now that I am no longer a Christian believer, and certainly no longer a card-carrying evangelical charismatic. Don’t I miss the sense of togetherness, or the joy and hope of the Christmas season?
The answer, of course, is that, in many ways, my life is much the same as before, though without the time-consuming, semi-compulsory, religious activities, and without the sense of guilt and failure. And the arrival of Christmas has helped me realise that I am more able to be authentic and real without having to do the psychological gymnastics that the cultural mishmash of Christmas entails.
As someone who is in the real world, I know that Christmas is about many things for many people. These usually involve family times (good and bad experiences), present giving and receiving (and possible financial hardship), eating and drinking more than usual (with the subsequent token diet for 3 days in January), followed by more consumerism in the sales. As a believer, I knew that Christmas was ‘really about’ the birth of Jesus, would go to church, and try to subordinate the other things. But however much I pretended otherwise, Christmas was always dominated by secular experiences. Even the church service I regularly attended on Christmas morning was shortened so that people could get back to their food and presents.
Now, I no longer have to pretend that black is white and that Christmas is ‘really about’ something that it hasn’t been for years for the vast majority of people. I am free to enjoy or dismiss all aspects of Christmas without guilt. I can be real and free. I can be so free that I can even allow myself to enjoy the aesthetic and cultural aspects of carol singing.
I don’t need a religious faith to experience togetherness. I don’t need a religious faith to experience hope or joy. I would argue that the hope that I now how is much more real than before. It is based on what I know about myself and human beings and our potential for both good and evil, rather than on some imagined wishful thinking.
As one year ends, I can look forward to the new year with a sense of coming out of winter darkness and looking to the future; with a sense that things can be different, and that I and others can try to make them so. And as a fallible human being, I can enjoy a party with family over the Christmas season, without having to make myself occasionally pretend that it is really about something else.
This is my second Christmas as a nonbeliever. I’m enjoying the season much more this year than I did last year. I think last year I was still trying to figure out what it all meant to me. Now, my thinking is much like yours.
This is going to be my first Christmas as a nonbeliever. I’m going home to spend it with my family, and then traveling to see some other relatives. Does anyone have any advice for me? Thanks.
Teleprompter
My advice would be to relax and enjoy yourself, and be as authentic as possible. You don’t have to prove anything or convert anyone to your point of view. Just enjoy being you. If asked about anything, be open and honest and vulnerable and gentle about what you believe. If others take exception to that, that is their problem, not yours